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quotes inspirational funny collection by famous authors: Laughter is a wonderful way to release stagnant, heavy, negative energy. We’ve collected
short funny inspirational quotes just for you. No matter what you have been feeling lately, these quirky quotes will make you chuckle and might just inspire your life in a positive way.
I intend to live forever. So far, so good.― Steven Wright
Opportunity does not knock, it presents itself when you beat down the door.― Kyle Chandle
Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.― Albert Einstein
I’ll probably never fully become what I wanted to be when I grew up, but that’s probably because I wanted to be a ninja princess.― Cassandra Duffy
By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.― Robert Frost
Whoever said, ‘It’s not whether you win or lose that counts,’ probably lost.― Martina Navratilova
If you fall, I’ll always be there.― The Floor
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Focus, focus, focus! What am I, a telescope?!― Naruto Uzumaki
People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.― A.A. Milne
A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure.― Unknown
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I'd like to thank my middle finger for always being there, sticking up for me all those times when i needed it most.
It's funny how nobody notices all the good things you do until you don't do them.
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People who wonder whether the glass is half empty or half full miss the point. The glass is refillable.
Angry people who can't take a joke have no idea how hilarious they are to those of us who can.
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Don't stress about your eyesight failing as you get older. It's nature's way of protecting you from shock as you walk past the mirror.
Just once in my life, I'd actually like to see a liar's pants catch on fire.
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The best thing about me is "I'm a limited edition" There are no other copies...I bet your thinking "Thank the good lord".
Expect Nothing And You'll Never Be Disappointed.
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The fact that there's a Highway to Hell and only a Stairway to Heaven says a lot about anticipated traffic numbers.
If one door closes and another one opens, start worrying because your house is probably haunted…
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Never let anyone treat you like a yellow starburst. You are a pink starburst.
When something goes wrong in your life, just yell “Plot Twist” and move on.
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“If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.”― Steven Wright
“I find television very educational. Every time someone turns it on, I go in the other room and read a book.”― Groucho Marx
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“All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.” ― Mark Twain
“If you don’t know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else.”― Yogi Berra
“There never was a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him asleep.”― Ralph Waldo Emerson
“It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn’t give it up because by then I was too famous.”― Robert Benchley
“Luck is what you have left over after you give 100 percent.”― Langston Coleman
“Life is a shipwreck but we must not forget tossing in the lifeboats.”― Voltaire
“When I hear somebody sigh, Life is hard, I am always tempted to ask, ‘Compared to what?'”― Sydney Harris
“The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs… one step at a time.”― Joe Girard
“The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning, and does not stop until you get into the office.”― Robert Frost
“We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.”― George Bernard Shaw
Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.― Will Rogers
Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.― Mark Twain
Try to be like the turtle – at ease in your own shell.― Bill Copeland
Life is like a sewer… what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.― Tom Lehrer
Change is not a four letter word… but often your reaction to it is!― Jeffrey Gitomer
Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor.― Truman Capote
People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.― Zig Ziglar
If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.― Dalai Lama
When I hear somebody sigh, ‘Life is hard,’ I am always tempted to ask, ‘Compared to what?’― Sydney Harris
I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.― Lily Tomlin
Well-behaved women seldom make history.― Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.― Thomas Eddison
A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.― Steve Martin
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?― George Carlin
You can’t wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.― Jack London
Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what is right.― Isaac Asimov
If you’re going to be able to look back on something and laugh about it, you might as well laugh about it now.― Marie Osmond
There are no traffic jams along the extra mile.― Roger Staubach
Life is like photography. You need the negatives to develop.― Unknown
Life is a blank canvass, and you need to throw all the paint on it you can.― Danny Kaye
If you hit the target every time it’s too near or too big.― Tom Hirshfield
There’s never enough time to do all the nothing you want.― Bill Watterson
If you don’t design your own life plan, chances are you’ll fall into someone else’s plan. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much.― Unknown
I have a simple philosophy: Fill what’s empty. Empty what’s full. Scratch where it itches.― Alice Roosevelt Longworth
Life is a shipwreck but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats.― Voltaire
I didn’t fail the test. I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.― Benjamin Franklin
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Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing ’til it gets there.― Josh Billings
When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.― Cathy Guisewite
Good things come to those who wait… greater things come to those who get off their ass and do anything to make it happen.― Unknown
Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It’s already tomorrow in Australia.― Charles Schulz
Here is a test to find whether your mission on earth is finished: If you’re alive it isn’t.― Richard Bach
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