Hilarious Funny Whatsapp and Fb Status

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Hilarious Funny Status

I have a Impudent neighbor Knocking on my door at 2AM He's lucky I was in a drum lesson ..

Most of the fruits I know now and did not know were existed - Is only because of the shampoo

I saw a shampoo with the title: "Rich-looking" So I washed my purse ..

Even if you are a mass murderer, International rogue,and children Abductor,People Will Still bless you "continue to be who you are" in your birthday.

I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.

Hilarious Funny status

Please be patient even a toilet can handle only one ass hole at a time.

Silence is Golden. Duct tape is Silver :3

Friction is a drag.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

Behind every great man, there is a surprised woman.

You’re Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To Me

Looks like I over-estimated the number of your brain cells.

I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it

A man is as young as the woman he feels.

With all this technology above and under, humanity still hunts down one another.

Hilarious Funny whatsaap Status

If Relationship between man and women were shoes, I'd wear you out. But I wouldn't wear you out in public.

“There's no half-singing in the shower, you're either a rock star or an opera diva.” Josh Groban quotes

If people are talking behind your back, then just fart.

I am currently experiencing life at the rate of 15 WTF’s every hours

Decided to burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire!

Last seen 1980! :D

God is really creative, I mean.. just look at me! :)


I hate fake people. You know what I'm talking about. Mannequins. :D

I'm not lazy, I'm on energy saving mode.

I love my job only when I'm on vacation.....

Never make eye contact while eating a banana.

Life is Short - Chat Fast!

If life gives you lemons, just add vodka.

How can i miss something i never had?

Hey there whatsapp is using me.

Hilarious Funny Facebook Status

Girls use photoshop to look beautiful.. Boys use photoshop to show their creativity.

Fact: Phone on silent mode- 10 Missed call... Turns volume to loud- Nobody calls all day!!

Girls, if he only wants your breasts, legs, and thighs. send him to KFC.

You can never buy Love....But still you have to pay for it ..

If you are going to speak bad things about me on my back, come to me. I'll tell you more.

Did anyone else notice the sound if you click the like button on my status?

I live in a world of fantasy, so keep your reality away from me!

A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.

My biggest concern in life is actually how my online friends can be informed of my death..!!

When I'm a Pedestrian I Hate cars.. When I'm Driving I Hate Pedestrians...

Whoever says "Good Morning" on Monday's deserves to get slapped :)

Mosquitos are like family. Annoying but they carry your blood.

Who needs television when there is so much drama on Facebook.

Everything funnier when your supposed to be quiet..

Latest Hilarious Funny Status

I want someone to look at me the way I look at cupcakes!!

Save water drink beer.

6 Peg Loading .. :D

Dear Lord, there is a bug in your software...it's called #Monday, please fix it

Always wear cute pajamas to bed you'll never know who you will meet in your dreams.

God is really creative , i mean ..just look at me :P

Decided to burn lots of calories today so I set a fat kid on fire.

When I'm on my death bed, I want my final words to be "I left one million dollars in the...

I wake up when I cant hold my pee in any longer.

My father always told me, 'Find a job you love and you'll never have to work a day in your life.

Life is too short smile while you still have teeth...

My study period = 15 minutes. My break time = 3 hours.

If College has taught us anything, it's texting without looking :)

I'm Jealous Of My Parents... I'll Never Have A Kid As Cool As Theirs!

Here my dad comes on whatsapp... From now on my status would be '***no status***' or just a smiley...

New Hilarious Funny Status

Don't kiss behind the garden, Love is blind but the neighbors are not.

I Like to study.. Arithmetic - NO ... world history - NO .... chemistry - NO .... GIRLS - YES!!!

Friends are forever, until they get in a relationship!! :P

People call me mike .. You can call me tonight.. :p

In Modern Politics, Even The Leader Of The Free World Needs Help From The Sultan Of Facebookistan!!!

C.L.A.S.S- come late and start sleeping :)

Faces YOU Make ON The Toilet lol (o_o) (>_<) (0_0) (^_^)

Everything is 10x funnier when you are not supposed to laugh.

People who exercise live longer, but what's the point when those extra years are spent at gym.

Relationship Status: Looking for a WiFi connection.

It may look like I'm deep in thought, but 99% of the time I'm just thinking about what food to eat later.

Checking your symptoms on Google and accepting that fact that you're going to die.

When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.

Wrestling is obviously fake. Why would two people fight over a belt when neither of them are wearing pants?

Sorry about those texts I sent you last night, my phone was drunk.

Hilarious Funny Status 2017

We are WTF generation .... WhatsApp, Twitter and Facebook :D

Having a best friend with the same mental disorder is a blessing. LOL

It's been 70+ years, Tom. You're never going to eat Jerry :)

I want some one to give me a Loan and then leave me Alone. :)

There's like 7 billion people in this world and no one wants to date me. I hate this world ... huh

Dear Lord, all I ask for a chance to prove that winning the lottery won't make a bad person.

I don't usually sleep enough, but when I do, it's still not enough ;)

My family says I talk in my sleep but nobody at work has ever mentioned it. lolz

The only thing I gained so far in THIS YEAR is weight :)

I am not addicted to WHATS APP. I only use it when I have time ....... lunch time, break time, bed time, this time, that time, any time, all the time. :)

Marriage is just a fancy word for adopting an overgrown male child who can not be handled by his parents anymore.

The most powerful words other than I LOVE YOU is "Salary is Credited" :)

Is there anything more awkward than when you are singing along to a song on youtube and the music stops loading.

Years of education, solving tough problems, handling complex issues, yet we take a while standing before glass doors thinking whether to Push or Pull.

Flirtationship: More than a friendship and less than a relationship.

Running away does not help you with your problems, unless you are fat.

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