Funny Whatsapp Status

Funny Whatsapp status in 2017, the list is made based on shares of each status update on social media sites like facebook, twitter etc , so they are by far one of the best funny status updates for whatsapp this year. Bookmark and share this page as we will keep adding more updates on regular basis.

1). My goal for 2015 is to accomplish the goals of 2014 which I should have done in 2013 because I made a promise in 2012 which I planned on keeping back in 2017.

2) I am currently experiencing life at the rate of 15 WTF’s every hours

3). Don’t like me? Cool, I don’t wake up every day to impress you.

4). The only reason I am fat is because a tiny body couldn’t store all this personality.

5). Those who say money can’t buy happiness are shopping at the wrong places.

6). I don’t get drunk, I get awesome.      

7). I have a Impudent neighbour Knocking on my door at 2AM He’s lucky I was in a drum lesson ..

8). Most of the fruits I know now and did not know were existed – Is only because of those shampoo commercials.

Funny whatsapp status in English

9). I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

10). I am currently experiencing life at the rate of 15 WTF’s every hours

11). Typing….

12). Scratch here ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ to reveal my status

13). Hey there whatsapp is using me.

14). God is really creative, I mean…Just look at me

15). Everything is 10x funnier when you are not supposed to laugh.

16). Stop checking my status! Go Get A Life

17). I’m all for change as long as it doesn’t directly affect my routine.

18). If women could read MINDS, man will get SLAPPED every second…

19). God is really creative , I mean ..just look at me

20). Common sense is like deodorant ..people who really needs it never use it.

21). I do not get drunk…I get awesome

22). Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.

23). People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do……..Isaac Asimov

24). Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.

25). Age is something that doesn’t matter….. unless you are a cheese.

26). Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.

Status for Whatsapp Funny

27). If people are talking behind your back, be happy that you are the one in front.

28). Sometimes I wish my dog could talk, but then I remember all the crazy shit he’s witnessed me doing.

29). If I said I’ll fix it, I will. There is no need to remind me every 6 months about it.

30). My Mother is a travel agent for guilt trips.

31). Life is like photography, You use the negatives to develop.

32). Of course I’m not perfect; there’s a crack in my ass!

33). Save water drink beer.

34). Sleep all your troubles away.

35). Don’t call me crazy. I much prefer the term “mentally hilarious”.

36). History is made at night. Character is what you are in the dark.

37). For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened.

38). Awesome ends with ME and Ugly starts with you.

39). After Tuesday, even the calender says “W T F”.

40). SARCASM: Just one of the many services I offer.

41). Marriage is a “workshop”, Where husband ‘works’ and wife ‘shops’.

42). “There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.” — Chris Rock

43). when I was BORN I was so surprised, I didn’t talk for a year & a half.

44). Marriage is a 3 Ring Circus- 1. Engagement Ring, 2. Wedding Ring, 3. Suffering.

45). Don’t Copy My Style.

46). Reading texts half asleep is like looking into the sun.

47). I Was Born Cool, Global Warming Made Me Hot.

48). Not always “Available”.. Try your Luck..

49). If “Plan A” didn’t work. The alphabet has 25 more letters. Stay Cool!!

50). When life gets tough, remember: You were the strongest sperm.

51) I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.

52) Behind every great man, there is a surprised woman.

53) Looks like I over-estimated the number of your brain cells.

54) A man is as young as the woman he feels.

55)  If people are talking behind your back, then just fart.

56) I am Cool but Summer Days make me hot..

57 My style is unique don’t copy it!

58 I am not failed, Because my success is lost.!

Funny Whatsapp status 2017

59 Love is like fart. If you force it, It’s probably shit.

60 I’m not sarcastic, I am just intelligent beyond your understanding.

61 My ex had one very annoying habit – BREATHING

62 Some people are beautifully wrapped boxes of shit.

63 Whatsapp users never die, they just go offline.

64 I told cashier- I want to open a joint account with anyone who have lots of money.

65 A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

66 I just need a good Wifi and Wife.

67 Hello madam, do you want Credit Card? Girl: No thanks, I have a Boyfriend.

68 Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen.

69 Just remember…if the world didn’t suck, we’d all fall off.

70 No, I’m not feeling violent, I’m feeling creative with weapons.

71 I may be fat, but you’re ugly – I can lose weight!

72 Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.

73 Girls are like roads, more the curves, more the dangerous they are.

74 Why do women always ask questions that have no right answers?

75 The winner of the rat race is still a rat.

76 I’m in shape. Round is a shape isn’t it?

77 Am fantaastic if I drink Fantaa.

78 Cousins are created so that our Parents can compare marks.

79 Mah Attitude.. Mah ishtyle !

80 Don’t browse my phone when I give it for viewing an image.

81 Virginity is not dignity, It is just lack of opportunity

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