Nurse funny Jokes One Liners

A great collection of Nurse Jokes One Liners you could ever find on the internet. Feel free to share these nursing jokes funny one liners with your friends and family.

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Q: What did the nurse say when she found a rectal thermometer in her pocket?
A: "Some asshole has my pen!"
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Q: What do you call a duck in a clinic?
A: Nurse Quacktioner.
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Q: What's the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?
A: The taste.
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Q: Why did the nurse keep the bedpan in the refrigerator?
A: Because when she kept it in the freezer it took too much skin off.
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Nurse funny Jokes
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Q: Why did the nurse always insist on using the rectal thermometer to obtain temperatures?
A: She was taught in nursing school to always look for her patient's best side.
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Q: How can you tell who is the head nurse of a facility?
A: She's the one with dirty knees.
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Q: How do you save a doctor from drowning?
A: Take your foot off his head.
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Q: How many nurses does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None - They just have a nursing assistant do it.
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Q: What 's the difference between a nurse and a nun?
A: A nun only serves one God.
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Q: What did the nurse say when she discovered a rectal thermometer in her pocket?
A: “Some butt hole has my pen!”
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Q: What's the difference between a surgeon and a puppy?
A: If you put a puppy in a room by itself for an hour, it'll probably stop whining.
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Q: What's the difference between a nurse and a nun?
A: A nun only serves one God.

Q: What’s the distinction between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?
A: The taste.
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Q: Why did the nurse dependably demand utilizing the rectal thermometer to get temperatures?
A: She was taught in nursing school to dependably search for her quiet’s best side.
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Q: She’s the one with grimy knees. What number of nurses does it take to sink a light?
A: None – They simply have a nursing right hand do it.
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Q: Why did the nurse keep the bedpan in the icebox?
A: Since when she kept it in the cooler it took an excess of skin off.
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Q: Why did the nurse go to craftsmanship school?
A: To figure out how to draw blood!
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Q: When you go to the clinic how would you discover the head nurse?
A: Look for the nurse with grimy knees and swollen lips!
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Q: what number nurses does it take to change a light?
A: Twelve: One to do it. one to graph it. ten to compose the strategy and method.
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Q: How do you know that a dead body found by the side of the road is a nurse?
A: Because its stomach is empty, its bladder is full, and its a$$ chewed!
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Q: How many nurses does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. They just have a nursing student do it.
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Q: What did the nurse say when she found a rectal thermometer in her pocket?
A: “Some asshole has my pen!”
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Q: Nurse manager: Did you really tell your patient if he gets out of bed one more time you'd tie him to the bed?
A: No!
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Q: What's do you call two ITU nurses holding hands?
A: A synapse.
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Doctor: "Did you take the patient's temperature?"
Nurse: "No. Is it missing?"
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Doctor: "Nurse, how is that little boy doing, the one who swallowed ten quarters?"
Nurse: "No change yet."

Nurse jokes one liner


Nurse jokes one liner and puns are so humerus! They’re definitely not Tachy though. And nurses are angels and heroes in our eyes. That doesn’t mean short nurse jokes can’t be funny though! Anyway, we hope you enjoy our collection of funny nurse jokes clean and humor.

Q: What ‘s the difference between a nurse and a nun?
A: A nun only serves one God.
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When a hospital runs out of maternity nurses do they have a mid-wife crisis?
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Q: How many nurses does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None, they just get a nursing student to do it.
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Q: Why do blonde nurses bring red magic markers into work?
A: In case they have to draw blood.
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Q: When I went to get my vaccinations the young nurse told me she was very nervous as it was her first time.
A: I told her to give it her best shot.
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Transplant nurses hate rejection.
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Q: I went to casualty yesterday and said to the nurse, “I’ve been stung by a wasp, have you got anything for it?”
A: She asked, “Whereabouts is it?”
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Q: What did the nurse say when she found a rectal thermometer in her pocket?
A: Some asshole has my pen.
~~~~~

Q: What’s the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?
A: The taste.
~~~~~

Q: What do you call two ITU nurses holding hands?
A: A synapse.
~~~~~

Q: How do you know that a dead body found by the side of the road is a nurse?
A: Because its stomach is empty, its bladder is full, and its ass chewed.
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Q: After a few minutes St. Peter looked up, smiled, and said, “Congratulations! You’ve been admitted to heaven…
A: For five days!”
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Q: The doctor says to the blonde nurse, “Nurse, did you take the patient’s temperature?”
A: The nurse replies, “No, is it missing?”

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