Funny Christmas Poems

Funny Christmas Poems, Funny Merry Christmas Poems, Funny X-mas Christmas Poems, Santa Funny Christmas Poems, Funny Santa Claus Poems

Funny Christmas Poems, Funny merry Christmas Poems

Christmas Snow

There is one thing you have to know;
At Christmas time, it has to snow.
The ground must fill with fluffy white
To soften up the cold, dark night.

It helps out Santa, that white snow,
Reflecting off the moonlight glow.
It makes us feel so snug instead
When we’re inside our soft, warm bed.

Although this image is so true
And makes much sense to me and you,
We have to pause and say, “Ahem –
There’s rarely snow in Bethlehem.”

If this thought sets you aback,
Don’t let it take you off your track.
For when you spy a shining star,
It’s Christmas time right where you are.

by Denise Rodgers
Copyright© Denise Rodgers

December Twenty-Sixth

I didn't start my shopping
Till December twenty-first.
I haven’t baked a cookie yet;
Our tree this year’s the worst.

I’d better buy some Christmas cards
And get them out today.
There’s just no time for Christmas
As my life gets in the way.

The decoration bin is cracked.
The tinsel is all dusty.
My Christmas spirit’s all worn out.
My happiness is rusty.

I do love Christmas every year,
Although my feeling’s mixed.
(I think I’m looking forward to
December twenty-sixth.)

by Denise Rodgers
Copyright© Denise Rodgers
All Rights Reserved

Funny Christmas Poems

Christmas Day

There’s something special in the house.
It happens Christmas Day.
The toys are out,
The coffee’s on.
It’s time for rest
Or play.

All the Christmas running’s done.
The gifts were bought,
The battles won.
The goose was cooked
And eaten up.
The coffee’s hot
Inside my cup.

The miracle of life appears
To bless our family
Every year.
And so I give my wish to you
To bless your happy family too.
Merry Christmas!

by Denise Rodgers
Copyright© Denise Rodgers
All Rights Reserved

Happy Holidays

They used to be
All red and green
But now they’re
White and blue.

The Christmas lights
Like so much else
Have changed their
Point of view.

They’re not about
The holiday.
They’re all about
The “season.”

But red and green
Or blue and white,
Well, Christmas
Is the reason!

Merry Christmas!

by Denise Rodgers
Copyright© Denise Rodgers
All Rights Reserved

Funny Santa Claus Christmas Poems

'A Letter to Rudolph' By Denise Hobbs

Dear Husband, It is time that I must have my say,
I've taken your shit day after day.
I've kept the home peaceful year after year
Now there is going to be changes, so listen my dear.

So you're famous, everyone knows your name,
And you're a specialist by gum, in the transport game,
You think you're so grand with your important job.
But I'm telling you my dear you're a worn out old yob

363 days a year,
You sit on your arse drinking scotch, rum and beer,
You claim it is to keep up the shine on your nose
So Santa can see where he bloodywell goes.

One night a year is all that you work,
You and your eight reisty mates - they're all jerks.
Dasher and Dancer - Speed freaks I say,
The sleigh wouldn't go that quick any other way.
Prancer and Vixen - Just cheap little tarts,
But they look like angels once Comet starts.

Cupids on some freaked out damned power trip,
And Donner...well, she should just get a damned grip
And Blitzen, I almost don't need to say,
Is here getting blitzed with you every day.

All of these years at the front of the sled,
Has gone, I'm afraid, to your crusty old head.
You're a layabout and a drunkard, with a big shiny nose,
And a weakness for elves in black pantyhose.

I'm telling you husband that one Christmas song,
Has made you think that you can do no wrong.
So this year while your out with old Santa's sled,
I am eloping, my dear, with your friend - Mr. Ed

Funny Christmas Poems

Funny Merry Christmas Poems

'At Christmas Time' By Grace E. Easley

There's nothing like Christmas
And woods deep in snow
To make us remember
The dear long ago.

Down life's weary highway,
Years pass single file,
But deep in us all
Lives a bit of the child.
The same breathless wonder
Floods over us when
The gray skies lose snowflakes
That dance in the wind.

Smoke curling from chimneys,
A white windowpane,
And dear thoughts return
And old joys remain.

The tinkle of sleigh bells
Across a still night,
A warm, shadowed hearth
Whose embers burn bright.

A colorful afghan
Thrown over a chair,
Green holly entwined
Down the length of a stair.

The candlelit church
And the golden bells tell
Of chapters each heart
Remembers so well.

Oh, there's nothing like Christmas
And woods deep in snow
To make us remember
The dear long ago.

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