Smart Status, New Short Smart Quotes

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Smart Status, Short Smart Quotes, Funny Sayings

Short smart quotes

➤ Smartness is a perfect beauty.

➤ Don't ever let someone tell you that you can't.

➤ Whatever you decide to do, make sure it makes you happy.

➤ Sometimes the best revenge is to Smile, move on, and do nothing.

➤ I can't follow the dreams.. Dreams can follow me...

➤ Distance means nothing when someone means everything.

➤ Life is like a coin. you can spend it any way you wish but you only it spend once

➤ The secret of getting ahead is getting started. - Sally Berger

➤ You can't start a new chapter in your life if you're too busy dwelling on the past.

➤ Try and fail, but don't fail to try.

➤ Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn. -Benjamin Franklin

➤ TRUST: it takes years to build up and seconds to destroy.

➤ I really Enjoy Looking at someone cool n dashing.. But when I get Tired.. I put the mirror dowN!!

➤ life is full of d disappointments!

➤ Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass It's about learning to dance in the rain.

➤ To make a girl tender.. it is necessary to soak her in money

➤ The girl who wears a dress that shows everything should be sure that she has something to show.

➤ Its not that u fill the 'void' in my life .. it is just tha 'u occupy lots of space' in it :)

➤ Come back baby.. 'un-dead' me please

➤ It is all coming back to me..s aid the blind man as he peed into the wind..

➤ Sometimes you have to let go to see if there was anything worth holding on to.

➤ Great is the art of beginning, but greater is the art of ending.

➤ after monday and tuesday.. even the week says wtf.

➤ Don't play stupid with me.. I'm better at it!

Smart short quotes about life

➤ A gentleman is just another pervert but keeps his feeling bottled up

➤ I plan on living forever. So far, so good.

➤ I Agree that cleanliness is next to godliness – but has anyone ever seen God :S

➤ My asshole is not talking to me eversince i called you one

➤ I desperately need a fixed income - Mine is broken

➤ I'm strong because I know my weaknesses. I'm wise because I've been foolish. I laugh because I've known sadness.

➤ There comes a time when you have to be your own hero. Because sometimes, the people you can't live without, can live without you.

➤ ___ have heard that Angelina Joile is planning to leave Brad Pitt. I am looking for a girlfriend - is it just another co-incidence.

➤ According to Astronomy, when you wish upon a star, you're actually a few million years too late. That star is dead. Just like your dreams.

Funny Sayings, Quotes, and Phrases

➤ Always remember: you're unique, just like everyone else.

➤ The road to success is always under construction.

➤ Where there is a "will," there are 500 relatives.

➤ Wear short sleeves. Support your right to bare arms!

➤ When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

➤ Join The Army. Visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them.

➤ I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.

➤ Death is hereditary.

➤ When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.

➤ Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.

➤ If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.

➤ Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.

➤ I stopped fighting my inner demons, we're on the same side now.

➤ Well-behaved women rarely make history.

➤ I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong.

➤ He who laughs last, didn't get it.

➤ We live in an age where pizza gets to your home before the police.

➤ I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.

➤ Cheese . . . milk's leap toward immortality.

➤ You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax. Tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough.

➤ He's so optimistic he'd buy a burial suit with two pairs of pants.

➤ Half of the people in the world are below average.

➤ I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

➤ A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

➤ It is not my fault that I never learned to accept responsibility!

➤ Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the "Y" becomes silent.

➤ Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.

➤ USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.

➤ Constipated people don't give a crap.

➤ Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200 and a substantial tax cut save you 30 cents?

➤ My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday.

➤ Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.

➤ A word to the wise ain’t necessary, it is the stupid ones who need all the advice.

➤ Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.

➤ Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.

➤ Ham and eggs—a day's work for a chicken; a lifetime commitment for a pig.

➤ I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.

➤ When it comes to thought, some people stop at nothing.

➤ You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

➤ If you can’t live without me, why aren’t you dead yet?

➤ I’d like to help you out. Which way did you come in?

➤ If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

➤ You couldn't get a clue during the clue-mating season in a field full of horny clues if you smeared your body with clue musk and did the clue mating dance.

➤ It is a damned poor mind indeed that can't think of at least two ways of spelling any word.

➤ In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: It goes on.

➤ Human beings are the only creatures that allow their children to come back home.

➤ Horse sense is a good judgment which keeps horses from betting on people.

➤ I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either.

➤ Age is a question of mind over matter. If you don't mind, age don't matter.

➤ Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

➤ Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon.

➤ The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.

➤ Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

➤ I don’t suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.

➤ I get enough exercise pushing my luck.

➤ Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep.

➤ I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather . . . not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

➤ We are Microsoft. Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated.

➤ The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.

➤ You’re just jealous because the voices only talk to me.

➤ I got a gun for my wife—best trade I’ve ever made.

➤ Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

➤ To all you virgins, thanks for nothing.

➤ Beauty is a light switch away . . .

➤ The evening news is where they start by saying “good evening,” and proceed by telling you why it’s not.

➤ There are three kinds of people in this world: those who can count and those who can't.

➤ When life hands you lemons, make lemonade, find the person that life handed vodka to, and have a party.

➤ if Barbie is so popular then why do we buy her friends and boyfriends?

➤ God created the world, everything else is made in China.

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